Sunday, June 5, 2011
Note to self: Set aside an hour and a half to make a profile. It’s laborious. What color are your eyes? How tall are you? What is your body type? What’s your astrological sign? How long is your big toe? Then they want pictures of you in specific situations: Outside, inside, with friends, doing a handstand, with family, with a pet, with a midget from Kansas. Okay, a couple of those aren’t really in there.
The hardest part is talking about yourself. You want to sell yourself, but at the same time be realistic and not sound like a pompous ass. I teach English and in the end I decided to take my own advice-- show, don’t tell. So instead of telling my future dates that I am fantastic in every way, I told them that I “sing in the car” and “dance when I vacuum” and that I am a teacher who tries to “positively influence others.” I decided to leave out that I can eat a whole large pizza by myself, have long conversations with my dog, and I smell-check dirty clothes from the floor before wearing them. I think of it as selective inclusion of details.
When I finished, I felt pretty good. I had to do some real self-evaluation and introspection in the process, but spending that much time focusing on positive things about myself reminded me that I am totally, completely datable. Wait, gotta go-- just got my first “wink”. I don’t even know what that is...