Saturday, June 4, 2011
Cats and Whisky
I finally caved. After months of being single, sitting on my couch on Saturday nights watching crime shows, drinking wine alone, and calculating the days until I turn 30, I made the decision. I had just finished my 100th sudoku puzzle. It was the last page in the book. 100 puzzles, for those of you that aren’t addicted yet, is a serious commitment. And I was finished. I threw the book away and thought, “now what?”
I realized, in that moment, that if I did not do something about my lack of social life I may grow old and die with a cat (or six) on my lap, a stupid sudoku puzzle in my hand, and a whisky on the rocks on my nightstand.
Let’s stop here for a second. I’m sure you are picturing that I’m less than attractive. I must be to have that kind of life, right? Wrong. I have the right number of fingers and toes. No speech impediments. No missing teeth. I have a college degree and some grad credits, too. I’m in decent shape. I hike. I run. I own a house. I have a career. I had just reached a strange point in my life where there was not much opportunity to meet new people. All of my friends are in relationships. They are paired up like penguins all happy and content. I work as a teacher--not many men in that field. And life is not like a movie. No one will walk up to me in the coffee shop or see me on an elevator one day to revolutionize my life. I’m never even in an elevator. I own a house.
Okay let’s go back, now. I threw away the sudoku book and decided to start internet dating. Embarrassing? Not compared to the vision I had with the cats and the whisky. I also decided to write about it. I know there are other amazing women out there in the same place where I found myself. And I know internet dating is terrifying. Really, it is. I’m pretty sure Jeffrey Dahmer would be internet dating if he were alive.
So I want to share my experience with you. At the very least I’ll entertain you, but hopefully I can be like a pioneer, leading the way for highly-datable people to log on and find what they are missing. Just take a minute to picture yourself in thirty years. Are you alone? Is there a bottle in the picture? Multiple cats? Maybe a weird hobby like building tiny ships out of toothpicks? If so, I’m doing this for you.